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Children And Verbal Abuse

posted 24 Feb 2013, 05:36 by Mpelembe Admin   [ updated 24 Feb 2013, 05:37 ]

I am a man of 54 years now. But despite seeing so many things
in my life and experiencing all the emotions, I feel hurt when I
am verbally abused. It is not that verbal abuse does not hurt.
Some people think that verbal abuse can be easily forgotten and
one may go forward. Yes, one goes forward but the scars of the
wound inflicted by the verbal abuse go along with many of us.
How about a child?

A child can be verbally abused in many ways. Children abusing
each other with name calling etc. are common. But worse is
verbal abuse by elders. Parents, relatives and teachers form
part of this group in a child's life. Many parents have set
ideas about how a child should behave. If the child does not
behave that away, the parents do not explain them the right way
but make fun of them verbally. If such fun is made in presence
of others the child's psyche is hurt. The hurt may look very
innocent but that makes a child feel insecure about themselves.
The children lose faith in their own abilities. They learn wrong
methods of behavior. I have seen some parents who verbally abuse
their child in presence of the teacher. All the complaints they
have about the child are made right in the presence of the
teacher. This is a verbal thrashing. Somehow because the child
cannot hit back, it is taken as granted by many adults that
children can be verbally abused without hurting them. Adults
feel good after verbally abusing them and feel that they know
how to properly train a child. The facts are contrary. The child
feels humiliated.

Whenever we talk to a child, we should put ourselves in their
shoes and first think about how that will affect the child. Only
after we are sure, we should speak to a child about sensitive
issues.  Verbally abusing a child is a crime in law, and also a
bigger crime in the scheme of God.


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